Is There a Definition of Love?

   Is There a Definition of Love? Well, it Depends On Who You Ask.

     Well if you're looking for that answer in a literal sense, then yes, there is a 'definition' of love. Websters Dictionary says love is, "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person", boring in my opinion.

    Love, being a feeling, is almost completely undefinable. Each "official" definition of love is just based on the opinion, or opinions, of whoever wrote it. It's relative, meaning the ideas of love are dependent on the experience of whoever's describing it. 

     If I have to define love, it's the want to help others, no other motive, putting your own well being under that of the ones you care for. Love is seen all over. I, for instance, love my nephew and my best friend. Neither of these loves are romantic, but both are overpowering. I would throw myself in front of a train if it meant the safety of my nephew, just as I would run into my burning house to save my best friend. I would put their needs over mine because that's what love is to me. 

     That being said, in the same way I would starve so those I love could eat, that may not be the same for someone else. Someone else may see love as the want to provide, the need to protect, the need to verbally express that they love the object of their affection. Love is seen and expressed in so many different ways, that the definition is what seems like the endless rambling of a lovesick fool.  

     In the Christmas classic (and one of my favorite films) Love Actually, the main cast explores love through different scenarios. Each person sees love differently, each of them act on love differently. It's the exact same in real life. No two people have the exact same ideas or experiences of love.

    So, does the fact that love doesn't have a set-in-stone definition mean that healthy love is harder to achieve? No, not at all. In my mind it helps. If you're talking about romantic love, talking with your partner about your expectations and needs as a significant other and making sure to attend to theirs is most important. Without knowing your partners definition of love, you'll never truly be able to make them feel loved and visa versa.

      If its more of a "brotherly love", knowing the person should be all that's necessary. Of course to really love someone you have to know them, the real them. But because romantic love involves more vulnerability, the "what do you need to feel valued" convo is always useful.

     So this rambling of mine is coming to an end, but I'm going close with one last piece of information. What you think love is, is rarely the same for someone else, so don't force your view of affection onto others. Just because something makes you feel loved that doesn't mean it's comforting or affectionate to another. You may be crossing boundaries you don't even know someone has because you think it's the norm. Never assume your way is the right way. Keep in account that other definitions are different, but never let yours go unheard.

     Good luck in the search for your definition of love.
                                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                              - Lilly